The Viscount LaCarte

President Obama

2009-01-20T12:27:00.002-05:00

YAY!

Annual War on Reason RePost

2008-12-24T08:26:00.002-05:00

[Originally posted 09-Dec-2005. 2008 Update. We've paid a considerable price these last 8 years culminating in the near ruination of our company. I'm hopeful that we've reached a turning point. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my friends.]

The War on Christmas is already old news. The fact that people actually discuss it doesn’t surprise me anymore, but it only adds to my post-outrage fatigue. How is that people in this 21st century, living in the wealthiest nation on earth, with access to instant information can be so willfully ignorant? How many people know that Constantine and The Church decided to merge the winter pagan celebration and other European customs with the birth of Jesus for political reasons? How many Christians have ever even heard of Yule?

The very idea that mega-corporations are bowing to pressure from “secularists” because their advertisements say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” should be classed as satire. Does anyone who truly understands the teachings of Jesus Christ actually believe that he would condone the way our culture celebrates his “birthday?” That he would prefer that the corporations who, in order to increase their wealth by appealing to the greed in his potential disciples use the term “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”? That he would turn a blind-eye to the suffering of so many at the hands of so few and actually promote the corporate agenda whose only purpose in life is to generate wealth through exploitation? That the actions of our president and our government and our corporations and all of us are perfectly acceptable but the words “Happy Holidays” are offensive?

Please.

Thanks For Christmas

2008-12-23T14:03:00.004-05:00

Once again, Neddie and Bluegirl (Ned and Blue) have collaborated on a Christmas song, and once again they've done an awesome job.

Go there now and listen.

Ned's.

Stop by BG's and say "hellooooo."

Bought Your Ghost - The Bigger Lovers

2008-11-25T10:02:00.002-05:00

I love this tune by this little-known power-pop band. No surprise that the video is low-budget, but the song is great!

It's Love

2008-11-11T09:30:00.003-05:00

King's X. On this track they sound like John, Paul and George backed up by Rush. I didn't like most of their material, but this song rocks.

It's Just a Slow Turning

2008-11-07T12:56:00.001-05:00

John Hiatt. Love this tune. Great banjo. Awesome feel. Good lyrics. Video is inconsequential.

YES, WE DID!

2008-11-05T07:06:00.003-05:00

Obama's Closing Argument in Ohio

2008-10-27T18:50:00.000-05:00

Great speech by a great man.

Batman vs. The Penguin "The Debate"

2008-10-16T20:32:00.000-05:00

This is TOO good!

John McCain Master Debater

2008-10-16T07:41:00.003-05:00

His BIG line:

His debate with himself during the prep:

Some more "straight talk" from the express bus to alsorandom.

Don't Mess With Scientists

2008-10-11T10:04:00.004-05:00

My new (old) friend Botch Rutner is running for president. He alerted me to this article and I thought I'd share it with my small yet loyal readership:

Don't Mess With Scientists!

Hockey Moms in Glass Houses

2008-10-07T06:05:00.002-05:00

Another classic special comment from Keith. Gee Willikers!

Elvis Sings Led Zeppelin

2008-10-05T12:56:00.001-05:00

Well, almost anyway. Dread Zeppelin. They were a one-joke band, but it was a good joke, wasn’t it?

This Is Entertaining

2008-10-02T14:26:00.001-05:00

Linus sings "Every Little Thing..." by The Police.

A Watershed Moment For America

2008-10-01T20:06:00.000-05:00

Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

Okay, So It's Monday

2008-09-29T16:01:00.001-05:00

You Can See This Anywhere

2008-09-28T12:54:00.001-05:00

But why not here at my place?

You Were Wrong

2008-09-27T07:53:00.000-05:00

I wish there was more of this, but still it was a great moment.

Free Sarah Palin

2008-09-24T14:13:00.001-05:00

Stick with this rant by Campbell Brown.

This is What a Running Mate Is

2008-09-19T12:09:00.002-05:00

Stick around for the second question and his answer.

Click here to watch.

And They Said Obama's Church Was Scary...

2008-09-16T06:55:00.003-05:00

This documentary is somewhat flawed and hard to follow - but the footage from Sarah Palin's Church is real. It's 9 minutes long but you don't need to watch more than a few minutes. It would be laughable if this person was just the lady down the street, but in a couple of years she could be the leader of the free world.

UPDATE: Sarah Palin is unqualified to be president based on her lack of experience and is, for a liberal (me) on the issues undeserving of being a consideration. It has nothing to do with her looks, her gender, her family. Her church is relevant, because I don't want a religious nut to have her finger on the button. If you believe that the earth is 6000 years old, that dinosaurs roamed the earth alongside of man, that evolution is false and those beliefs ought to be taught in the public schools as "science" and if you believe that we are in the end-times and that Jesus is on the verge of coming back to destroy the earth and the non-believers, and our foreign policy should be based on the veracity of the book of revelations, that qualifies you in my book as a religious nut. In a rational society that ought to disqualify you as leader of the free world. If I'm wrong in my assessment of her, show me where...

Go watch it.

Republican Spin - Author Unknown

2008-09-15T11:36:00.002-05:00

I got this in an email today. I am not the author, but I wanted to post it.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review,create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor,then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you’re a minority and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a ‘token hire.’
If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'game changer.'

Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America. White teen pregnancies? A 'blessed event.'

If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.' Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential 'American story.' Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're 'unpatriotic.' Name your kid Track, you're 'colorful.'

If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're 'reckless.' A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a 'maverick.'

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an 'arrogant celebrity'. If you are a popular republican female candidate you are 'energizing the base'.

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are 'presumptuous'. if you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a 'shoot from the hip' maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are 'an elitist 'out of touch' with the real America. if you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero. If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an 'empty suit'.If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an 'experienced executive'.

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist'. If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are 'strongly principled'. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years with whom you are raising 2 beautiful daughters you're 'risky'.

If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child. But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky. If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you 'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and 'courageous.' If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter. If you have an abortion you're not a Christian, you're a murderer ( forget about if it happen while being date raped) If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents. If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

Wes Clark Jr. On Sarah Palin

2008-09-12T08:09:00.003-05:00

We the people better get our act together. Sarah Palin is a lunatic. She didn't know what Charlie Gibson was even talking about when he asked her if she supported The Bush Doctrine.

As promised, here is Wes Clark Jr.'s unbridled opinion of Sarah Palin. UPDATE: I don't agree with his point about the press. I think they should report the facts accurately but not give their opinion unless it is an opinion piece.

Gloria Steinem on Sarah Palin

2008-09-04T06:21:00.002-05:00

From the L.A. Times

Palin's value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women's wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves "abstinence-only" programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers' millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn't spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

I don't doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Assn., she doesn't just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn't just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn't just echo McCain's pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.

***

Do they honestly believe that she has an appeal to the women of the Democratic Party?

Evidence of Election Tampering in My Home State

2008-07-22T06:36:00.003-05:00

I remember all of us being shocked when the election results came in and against all polls showed that Republicans Sonny Perdue and Saxby Chambliss defeated incumbents Roy Barnes and Max Cleland in the gubernatorial and senatorial races respectively in November of '02.

I hope this story gets some legs.

A leading cyber-security expert and former adviser to Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says he has fresh evidence regarding election fraud on Diebold electronic voting machines during the 2002 Georgia gubernatorial and senatorial elections.

Full story here:

GOP cyber-security expert suggests Diebold tampered with 2002 election

This Is Surreal

2008-05-29T19:46:00.001-05:00

Joe Jackson - Rain

2008-04-30T15:15:00.009-05:00

It was quite unexpected when my brother walked into rehearsal one night way back in 1979 and announced that “Steve Miller” had a new record out that blew him away. He told us the name of the song was Is She Really Going Out With Him, and that it rocked hard with great lyrics. Back then we didn’t have much respect for Steve Miller. We didn’t hate him like we hated ELO, but his relentless barrage of inane, repetitive and derivate tripe was a constant reminder that no one was interested in our quirky brand of pop music rife with odd rhythms, non-standard time signatures and inside-joke lyrics. Looking back on those days it’s no wonder. Steve Miller’s music was catchy and very radio friendly and ours wasn’t. It was only a day or two after that we found out that it was of course not Steve Miller, but this new cat named Joe Jackson. I picked up Look Sharp and have been a fan ever since, in spite of more than a couple of subsequent misfires and disappointments.

The oft misused word eclectic is entirely apt in describing Jackson’s catalog. His musical output has run the gamut from pop to swing to reggae to salsa to jazz to modern classical. While his choices were often confounding to his audience and counter-productive to his career as a recording artist, the emphasis was always on artist. Joe Jackson has consistently been true to himself, composing and recording music according to his own tastes, seemingly unconcerned with current trends or commercial appeal.

I’ve been listening to Rain for about 6 weeks or so. If I’m going to give my opinion of an album, I want to live with it for a few weeks and give that opinion the chance to mature. I never could understand how music critics could listen to a record once or twice and then write a review. This works for a movie, but not for a record. Sometimes new music hits me one way on first and second listen and then transforms into something else upon subsequent auditions. I remember being completely taken by The Knack’s My Sharona the first time I heard it but by the 5^thor 6^th time I couldn’t get to the next station fast enough. Conversely, the first time I heard Steely Dan’s Aja I was somewhat underwhelmed. After living with it for about a week it became and remains to this day one of my favorite albums of all time.

The first couple of times through Rain I noticed that he was going falsetto more often than I would normally expect. He was actually asked about this in an interview contained on the bonus DVD and he said that he had some trouble singing the notes. I’m not sure how much this new information influenced the change in that opinion, but after some time I found the falsetto less annoying and more endearing.

Jackson chose to record this album as a trio, with his most excellent original band members Graham Maby on bass and drummer Dave Houghton. When I first heard about the “stripped down” instrumentation, I was expecting to be disappointed.

I wasn’t.

Invisible Man opens the album, and it’s perhaps one of the most accomplished songs of his career. Musically it’s reminiscent of Katy Lied era Steely Dan. The arrangement, instrumentation and especially the piano playing are all stellar. I’ve found Jackson’s lyrics over the years to be spotty. Some of his songs seemed vague and even ill-conceived lyrically (It’s Different for Girls) while others were concise and compelling (On the Radio.) The lyrics on the opening track are nothing short of inspired. After initial success in his early career followed by some brief almost-comebacks here and there, he seems to be reveling in his relative anonymity, free to be exactly who he wants outside of the bogus scrutiny of MTV and the rest of the crap music culture.

Hey - can you hear me now
As I fade away
And lose my ground
Maybe you'd like to know
What I'd have to say
If I was still around

Now I'm made of smoke
You see through me
It's the strangest joke

Can't touch the Invisible Man
Can't stop the Invisible Man

Why did the lights go down
Or onto someone new
Well let them learn
I used to own this town
Now I'm watching you
Now it's my turn

Now I'm made of mist
Will you know
When you've been kissed

Can't touch the Invisible Man
Can't stop the Invisible Man

Now I'm almost free
Disappearing
Don't cry for me

Can't touch the Invisible Man Can't stop the Invisible Man

These are the musings of an artist who is at peace with his circumstances, and indeed happy with them. This was completely evident at the show I attended last Saturday in Atlanta. His set relied heavily on the new record which thrilled our little group, but the people who were there just for the hits weren’t disappointed either. He even covered an obscure song (Inbetweenies) by Ian Dury!

On Rain, the good songs just keep coming. Wasted Time is a ballad of lost love with a haunting, memorable melody. The Uptown Train is a jaunty jazz ditty reminiscent of Night and Day, musically a little lighter and carefree, though the lyric suggests something a little darker. As he informs us in the last verse:

They say -
Take it slow when you're breaking the mold
Got to pay what you owe or be out in the cold
And they don't care to know what you know or to go through the pain
To change
To the Uptown Train

There’s a solo piano song, slow and downbeat about persevering through loneliness, aptly titled Solo (So Low) with some pretty depressing lyrics. Here’s the opening:

Solo - It isn't a dream
So low - It's just what it seems
An empty thing Waiting on somebody who never calls
Listening In the night to something scratching round behind the walls

And the close:

Chances are few
To try to be
Someone new
Though one gets to play
With no referee
Peace at last
Guaranteed

At the concert he said that the song hints at better things to come, but it doesn’t leave me with that feeling. Joe’s sexual preference has always been a matter of speculation, and his lyrics are often I think deliberately ambiguous. As an example, on Too Tough he sings:

I know you think that I protest too much I’m like a Diva with the tragic touch

but on Rush Across the Road he sings:

Of all the streets in the world
You walk down this one
And I see three hundred girls
But just want to kiss one

Regardless, one can’t help but get the sense that his life has been plagued by failed relationships, and Solo does nothing to dispel that notion. Before you have a chance to feel too badly though the band breaks into the aforementioned Rush Across The Road which will bring a smile back to your face and have you tapping your foot by the first chorus. His piano playing on this track as on others is stunningly gorgeous.

Rain is an instant classic and history will judge it as one of Joe Jackson’s best releases, certainly up there with Night and Day, though it won’t enjoy the same popularity. That’s a pity, because it’s a brilliant record. The songs go down effortlessly upon first listen and continue to improve with age. Every aspect of the album from beginning to end is superb. Joe’s songwriting, arrangements, singing and piano playing all reflect an artist at the top of his game, and not at all the has-been that one might expect from someone whose last hit record was in the early 80’s. If you’ve been craving a new collection of sophisticated pop songs informed by some jazz, latin and a touch of classical music, look no further. This is it

Joe Jackson - "Invisible Man"

2008-04-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

This is stunning. I know I've been remiss with this blog. I just don't have as much to say or enough time to write as I used to. I'm planning on reviewing the new record Rain soon.

Embedding has been disabled for this, so click here to watch and listen.

Sweet Home Alabama

2008-03-26T16:00:00.002-05:00

Was never quite like this:

HELP!

2008-03-11T17:48:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite tracks. This is the promo film, not the clip from the movie.

Wot

2008-02-23T16:48:00.001-05:00

Just killing time on YouTube and I got into this early 80's mode. I hadn't even thought about this record in years.

Flight of the Bumblebee

2008-02-21T08:36:00.000-05:00

Keith KOs Bush Again

2008-02-15T08:07:00.000-05:00

Chris Farley and Paul McCartney

2008-01-29T07:30:00.001-05:00

Guido

2008-01-26T08:52:00.001-05:00

Gotta Baby Elephant Vacuum Cleaner!

2008-01-16T07:34:00.000-05:00

My favorite Weird Al parody. Apparently the Chili Peppers didn't get the joke.

Sam Harris - Misconceptions About Atheism

2008-01-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

Sam Harris is great.

Two Of Us

2008-01-03T08:19:00.000-05:00

They were falling apart here. Hard to tell from the track.

Who's Gonna Build Your Wall?

2008-01-02T15:22:00.000-05:00

Tom Russell. Almost sounds like Johnny...

Annual War on Reason Post

2007-12-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

[Originally Published 9-Dec-2005 - I still feel the same way and have little to add, except that maybe this year there is some room for hope and a few less people watching Fox News.]

[ 2007-12-25 Update Ned's post reminded me to do this again this year.]

The War on Christmas is already old news. The fact that people actually discuss it doesn’t surprise me anymore, but it only adds to my post-outrage fatigue. How is that people in this 21st century, living in the wealthiest nation on earth, with access to instant information can be so willfully ignorant? How many people know that Constantine and The Church decided to merge the winter pagan celebration and other European customs with the birth of Jesus for political reasons? How many Christians have ever even heard of Yule?

The very idea that mega-corporations are bowing to pressure from “secularists” because their advertisements say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” should be classed as satire. Does anyone who truly understands the teachings of Jesus Christ actually believe that he would condone the way our culture celebrates his “birthday?” That he would prefer that the corporations who, in order to increase their wealth by appealing to the greed in his potential disciples use the term “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”? That he would turn a blind-eye to the suffering of so many at the hands of so few and actually promote the corporate agenda whose only purpose in life is to generate wealth through exploitation? That the actions of our president and our government and our corporations and all of us are perfectly acceptable but the words “Happy Holidays” are offensive?

Please.

The Best Scrooge Was George C. Scott

2007-12-23T13:45:00.000-05:00

From The Archives. Seems even more apt today than it did two years ago.

By now, I’m certain everyone who has stumbled across this blog has seen the Cheney video.

“Go F#$k yourself Mister Cheney.” As people have pointed out, he is genuinely amused by the episode. He smiles and immediately turns it to his advantage by referencing John Kerry.

It reminded me of George C. Scott’s brilliant portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge. Over the years, the Alistair Sim Scrooge has been celebrated as the standard by which all others are judged, but I do not share that opinion. I think Scott’s Scrooge is by far the best, because he is gleefully mean. He is his own audience, and he is greatly amused by his miserliness and his callous indifference to suffering.

The classic scene is when he is approached by businessmen for a contribution to charity. He welcomes this opportunity to express his disdain for the poor. He appears to live for moments such as these. When he first encounters them, they say something like, “Mr. Scrooge, I don’t believe you’ve made our acquaintance” and he mutters with a wry grin, “Nor do I wish to.” They then go on to explain to him about the suffering children, the whole exchange about “Are there no prisons? No work farms?” The defining moment though, is when they tell him that conditions are so bad that some would rather die, and he says, (paraphrased from memory) “Well, if they’d rather die then let them die. It will reduce the surplus (laughing!) population.” There is the difference. Alistair Sim delivers those lines in anger, but Scott delivers them with glee, reveling in the fact that he is so clever in his meanness. He is proud of being such a scoundrel. He loves being a miser.

That is precisely the way I see Dick Cheney.

By the way, I still haven't figured out exactly why, but I find it wildly enteraining that the off-camera protagonist chose to call him "Mister" Cheney.

Matchbox

2007-12-13T12:36:00.001-05:00

Derek and the Dominoes, Johnny Cash and Carl Perkins doing Matchbox live on TV.

Very cool.

Refuckingpublicans

2007-12-03T19:32:00.000-05:00

I just googled that word.

Zero hits.

Does that mean, then, that I can lay claim to that word?

At least now, if someone else (after a few days)googles that word, they'll end up here.

You Had Better Do As You Are Told

2007-11-25T19:32:00.001-05:00

Remember when?

Elvis and Nick

2007-11-19T06:59:00.000-05:00

Enjoy.

What's So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding?

The Late, Great Mitch Hedberg

2007-11-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

cross-posted at newcritics...

I loved the comedy of Mitch Hedberg. He was sort of like a hip version of Steven Wright. His jokes were often obtuse and esoteric. Or they were stupid, depending on your perspective. At times his delivery was unprofessional – he’d stumble on a line or laugh as if he were hearing the joke himself. This wouldn’t work for most comedians, but somehow it worked for him, adding something to his charm.

It must have been in ’03 or ’04. My wife and I used to watch Comedy Central on Friday nights. They do about 2 hours of stand-up. We’d never heard of Mitch Hedberg, but we hadn’t heard of half the comedians that the show featured. At first we didn’t know how to take him. Long hair, sparse beard and purple-ish round sunglasses. Shy and naturally affable, eyes often apparently closed, looking down at his feet. Lines like, “My friend came up to me and said, ‘Hey! You know what I like? Mashed potatoes!’ and I said, ‘That’s not fair – you didn’t give me time to guess!” and, “I don’t have a girlfriend – I just know a girl who’d be really really mad if she heard me say that.”

We liked him, but he didn’t really grab us until we saw a repeat of the performance about 6 months later. Something clicked, and we were roaring.

Mitch Hedberg suffered from severe stage-fright, which he apparently tried to battle with drugs and alcohol. It was a battle he lost in March of 2005, right when he was on the verge of stardom. We had planned to see him in 2004, but had just spent money on a Lewis Black performance (which incidentally was hilarious!) We figured, 'next time.' He was due to play in Atlanta in May of 2005.

Please enjoy the comedy of Mitch Hedberg on youtube.

Clip from Mitch Heberg's Comedy Special

Mitch's appearance on David Letterman.

Chocolate Cake

2007-11-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

This morning on the news they told me that the female winner of the NYC Marathon gave birth less than one year ago. It reminded me of this one by Crowded House.

I saw Elvis Presley walk out of a Seven Eleven
And a woman gave birth to a baby and then bowled 257

Baby Blue

2007-11-03T14:03:00.000-05:00

The tape has some anomalies, but a great song by a great band, Badfinger.

I'd do the early 70's over again.

Scarecrow People

2007-11-01T07:34:00.000-05:00

XTC - live in MTV studios 1989.
To my knowledge, this performance was never aired.

Bush's Questions For The Dalai Lama

2007-10-30T06:11:00.001-05:00

Jack Black on Letterman's Top 10 List

2007-10-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

George Carlin on Countdown

2007-10-28T12:47:00.000-05:00

The Harder They Come

2007-10-17T07:07:00.001-05:00

Jimmy Cliff

Captain Beefheart

2007-10-10T06:57:00.000-05:00

1982. Music had changed. Not that he'd ever been part of any of that. You either got him, or you didn't. Usually I have no use for the video. I like this one, directed by the artist.

Ice Cream for Crow

Happy Birthday John

2007-10-09T06:46:00.000-05:00

All You Need Is Love

2007-10-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

1967. When The Beatles ruled.

My Back Pages

2007-10-04T10:21:00.000-05:00

Bob Dylan
George Harrison
Eric Clapton
Neil Young
Tom Petty
Roger McGuinn

I was there that night.
Floor seats.

Blood of Eden

2007-10-03T09:14:00.000-05:00

Peter Gabriel and Sinead O'Connor
From Up

One of the saddest songs from the soundtrack of my life. There was a time when I couldn't listen to it.

"Blood Of Eden"
by Peter Gabriel

I caught sight of my reflection
I caught it in the window
I saw the darkness in my heart
I saw the signs of my undoing
They had been there from the start
And the darkness still has work to do
The knotted chord's untying
They're heated and they're holy
Oh they're sitting there on high
So secure with everything they're buying

In the blood of Eden
Lie the woman and the man
With the man in the woman
And the woman in the man
In the blood of Eden
Lie the woman and the man
We wanted the union
Oh the union of the woman
The woman and the man

My grip is surely slipping
I think I've lost my hold
Yes, I think I've lost my hold
I cannot get insurance anymore
They don't take credit, only gold
Is that a dagger or a crucifix I see
You hold so tightly in your hand
And all the while the distance grows between you and me
I do not understand

At my request, you take me in
In that tenderness, I am floating away
No certainty, nothing to rely on
Holding still for a moment
What a moment this is
Oh for a moment of forgetting, a moment of bliss
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I can hear the distant thunder
Of a million unheard souls
Of a million unheard souls
Watch each one reach for creature comfort
For the filling of their holes

In the blood of Eden
Lie the woman and the man
With the man in the woman
And the woman in the man
In the blood of Eden
We wanted the union
Of the woman and the man

In the blood of Eden
Lie the woman and the man
I feel the man in the woman
And the woman in the man

In the blood of Eden
Lie the woman and the man
I feel the man in the woman
And the woman in the man

In the blood of Eden
We've done everything we can
In the blood of Eden
Saw the end as we began
With the man in the woman
And the woman in the man
It was all for the union
Oh, the union of the woman, the woman and the man.

Dawkins vs. O'Reilly

2007-10-02T19:00:00.000-05:00

The Vatican Rag

2007-10-01T11:51:00.000-05:00

Ned's post, Oh Sinner Do Not Stray, reminded me of the great Tom Leher.

Check out The Vatican Rag.

Midnight Confessions

2007-09-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

The Grassroots-1968
Even the plastic bands were good!

(I know its dubbed - I don't care.)

Ain't Wastin' Time No More

2007-09-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

The Allman Brothers Band
My favorite version of one of my favorite songs.
Derek Trucks. Damn!

Ian Hunter - When The World Was Round

2007-09-24T07:07:00.000-05:00

Great tune from his brilliant 2007 release Shrunken Heads.

Keith's Special Comment 9-20-2001

2007-09-22T10:04:00.000-05:00

I'm The Slime

2007-09-21T06:50:00.000-05:00

Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
SNL '76
featuring Don Pardo

"That's right folks don't touch that dial."

Yer Blues

2007-09-20T06:07:00.000-05:00

The Dirty Mac
John Lennon - Vocals, Guitar
Eric Clapton - Guitar
Keith Richards - Bass Guitar
Mitch Mitchell - Drums

From "Rock and Roll Circus"

8 1/2 Minute Respite

2007-09-19T11:37:00.000-05:00

Malignant Earworms

2007-09-19T07:31:00.000-05:00

crossposted at newcritics

Sunday. Like too many others these past twelve months, I was in the Atlanta airport. Minding my own business, but a prisoner. A captive to television stations I don’t want to watch, and canned music I don’t want to hear. ( I could rant for days about being force-fed music and television in public places, but I think I’m in the minority. Most people don’t seem to notice or care.) Still, I was in a relatively good mood considering the current circumstances. Going on the road until Friday, and then doing it all over again next Sunday. My destination was the DC area, and I’ve some good friends there. Plus, I like the hotel and the local restaurants. Hey, you gotta find something good about every situation, right?

Anyway, I’m walking to my departure gate, and it happened. If I was in my car, I might have hit the button in time, but as it was I had no choice.

First the opening synthe part. I liked it went it came out back in ’80. I ran out and bought the record. I didn’t know then that 27 years later, that song would be one of 20 or so malignant earworms. Had I known, I would have never, ever bought it. Not that it would have made any difference - but on principle I'd rather not have spent the money.

Stand up in a clear blue morning
Until you see what can be
Alone in a cold day dawning
Are you still free
Can you be?

BANG! I know when I've heard that far into the record, I’m dead. Tried, judged and sentenced to 3 weeks or more of that song, stuck in my head - stuck like a window that was painted shut some 10 years ago. Stuck like a derailed zipper on an old, favorite jacket. Stuck there, and damn pleased about it.

My friend Todd once told me of a sure-fire cure to malignant earworms. He said, “Just close your eyes and sing the theme song to The Flintstones. Sends it packing every time.”

Not.

When you're
With the Flintstones
You’ll have a do time
A dabba doo time
You’ll have a gay old time!

(If I got the words wrong - sorry. You get my drift.)

Not sure if I’d prefer that, but it doesn’t matter. That might work for a benign earworm, but this sonofabitch, through natural selection over many years of airplay, has evolved a resistance to all known antiwormotics.

I’ve tried playing some short-timers, perhaps one of the new Ian Hunter tunes?

T-shirt with the maker’s name
Can’t believe you bought it!
Brainwash, brainwash – you’re still fallin’ for it!

It works for a little while, but the cursed thing is not going down that easily. He's just resting in the corner, sharpening his nails so he can dig them in even deeper.

My Sharona? Not a chance.
Dedodododedadada? Impotent.
What’s that? Funky Town in a TV commercial? An amateur.

I go to sleep with it ringing in my ears. If I wake up in the middle of the night to return that last glass of wine, it starts up on the way to the bog. And, it keeps me awake for an hour.

When I get up in the morning and I step in the shower, there it is, like an unwanted guest pushing his way into my house, ignoring my pleas of in-laws visiting and plans of re-arranging my sock drawer.

Why only some songs? I mean, I always have a song in my head. Always. Some stick around for an hour, others maybe a day. But some, like the aforementioned, set up shop and linger for weeks. Why?

I guess I should count myself lucky. My cousin told me she once had Truckin' stuck in her head for 8 months. Yeah, you read that right. 8 months of

Dododododododododododododododo ...Truckin!

Some others that do it to me:

She’s a Beauty – The Tubes
Gaucho – Steely Dan
Real Men – Joe Jackson
Every Morning – Sugar Ray
Don’t Bring me Down – ELO

Lots more too. You think one of them, because I mentioned it here might topple the current resident? I can’t be sure, but I’ll be just as unhappy if it does. Especially if it's ELO.

Does anyone have a cure? Does anyone have their own malignant earworms that they care to share?

When some cold tomorrow finds you
When some sad old dream reminds you…

Led Zeppelin To Do a Benefit Show

2007-09-13T15:13:00.000-05:00

Cross posted at newcritics.

Led Zeppelin is announcing a reunion concert in London to benefit the Ahmet Ertegun Education Fund. Too bad that even in their prime their concerts sucked like an Oreck. Zeppelin were the only band ever to have had the pleasure of being blown off the stage by Grand Funk. The sound of a recent busboy kitchen accident at my local Chinese restaurant was more compelling than any Zeppelin show I've ever heard.

Unlike other trios that multi-tracked their records and then toured with backing musicians, Led Zeppelin opted to forgo that route and instead play paired-down arrangements of their songs during live performances. Not a good idea. Their records usually consisted of Jimmy Page playing 4 or 5 guitar parts (often doing dozens of takes,) the oft underrated multi-instrumentalist John Paul Jones covering several keyboard parts as well as the bass, and singer Robert Plant adding multiple vocal tracks. And while they did make some great ones using that technique, their live versions of those records were at best - mildly interesting, and at worst – an abomination. Not only were the arrangements lacking by comparison to the recordings, but Plant couldn't reproduce his trademarked falsetto live and Page's guitar work was revealed as sloppy. I shudder to think what they are going to sound like today.

Having said that, I’ll probably still rent the requisite DVD so I can revel in my own self-righteousness at the sheer banality of the show…

Quote of the Day

2007-09-12T07:10:00.000-05:00

"If atheism is a religion, then
'I haven't got one' is the make of a car. "

- Anonymous

Visit outcampaign.

- Thanks be to Jeremy...even if he isn't totally with the program. I'm on the fence myself. As I said over at his place:

I’m with you. Makes me kind of mad that the lack of believing something that isn’t true puts me in some sort of group.

I don’t play golf. I don’t eat liver. I don’t wear cardigans. I don’t go camping. Should there be a label for those groups as well?

In any event, I think raising awareness and dispelling myths about people who don't believe in the supernatural is a good thing.

Order Yours Today

2007-09-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

You can get yours here.

Pat Condell

2007-09-07T12:30:00.000-05:00

God Bless Atheism

What Have I Got Against Religion?

Ted Nugent

2007-09-05T06:34:00.001-05:00

Can you believe this?

Sean Hannity refused to repudiate his friend's comments. Keith Olberamann named him The Worst Person in the World:

A Vet In Kennebunkport

2007-08-30T14:53:00.001-05:00

Steely Dan's Top 10 Guitar Records

2007-08-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

Steely Dan. Just hearing the name conjures up all sorts of superlatives in my mind. Fantastic songs with interesting and unique chords and chord progressions, lush and expansive arrangements, slick yet inspired instrumentation, immaculate state-of-the art recordings , literate, obtuse and hilarious lyrics (often derisive, ironic and even sarcastic character studies sung in the first person) and the list just goes on and on.

And then there were the guitars. Steely Dan records had some of the best guitar playing going. While rock radio in the 70's was being dominated by the likes of Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, David Gilmour, etc., Steely Dan were featuring many brilliant guitarists who were often anonymous except to industry insiders. Their classic first 6 albums (Can't Buy a Thrill, Countdown to Ecstasy, Pretzel Logic, Katy Lied, The Royal Scam and Aja) in my mind remain unparalleled in terms of pure quality and consistency by any other musical ensemble since The Beatles. Those albums feature some of the best guitar playing ever committed to tape. So, without further adieu, here are my top ten Steely Dan guitar records, not in any order save the last two:

Home at Last
From Aja
Lead Guitar: Walter Becker

Easily one of my favorite Steely Dan songs from their perfect album. Homer's Odyssey and Joyce's Ulysses as pop / jazz. The whole track just reeks of the sea. You can smell the salty air and feel the boat bobbing in the waves while being pushed forward by the wind from Bernard Purdie's signature shuffle. Indeed, the eccentric Purdie wanted to share writing credits for the song because of his drumming. Walter Becker's economical guitar solo is gentle and watery. Not a single note is misplaced. (As an aside, I've included a most memorable moment regarding this song at the end of this post.)

Night By Night
From Pretzel Logic
Lead Guitar: Jeff “Skunk” Baxter.

Okay, so the tune is a bit derivative (listen to it back to back with Traffic's Rock and Roll Stew) and the lyrics are perhaps not their best, but the song is expertly arranged (love the horns and clavichord) and Skunk just tears it up on the solo in is own imitable style.

My Old School
From Countdown to Ecstasy
Lead Guitar: Jeff “Skunk” Baxter

Becker and Fagen reminiscing about some of their misadventures at Bard College. Baxter rose to the occasion with a number of blistering guitar breaks that get hotter at each turn.

Don't Take Me Alive
From The Royal Scam
Lead Guitar: Larry Carlton

The song starts off with Larry's explosive playing, and doesn't let up until the break at the end, just before the repeat of the last chorus. Superb.

Chain Lightening
From Katy Lied
Lead Guitar: Rick Derringer

Such a cool, bluesy record. Rick's understated licks are carefully placed between the vocals on the verses, never descending into the cliches that often dominate the genre. His solo is breathtaking - subtle and easy the first half and then kicked into high gear for the second, ending with an unexpected sustained note that hangs in mid-air for a couple of eternal seconds and then just melts into the last verse.

Your Gold Teeth II
From Katy Lied
Lead Guitar: Denny Dias

The solo in this pop / jazz masterpiece as played by unsung guitar hero and founding member of Steely Dan Denny Dias is nothing short of stunning. There's a bootleg floating around someplace that has Fagen listening as it was being played and expressing his unbridled approval peppered with some serious 70's profanity. Who can blame him?

Parker's Band
From Pretzel Logic
Lead Guitar: Denny Dias

Avid bop fans Becker and Fagen paying tribute to Charlie Parker. Denny Dias opens the track with a guitar solo unlike any other. Brilliant.

Kid Charlemagne
From The Royal Scam
Lead Guitar: Larry Carlton

Kid Charlemagne is a true Steely Dan classic. Telling the story of a famed producer of LSD (rumored but never verified to be one Augustus Stanley Owsley,) the song features what surely must be Larry Carlton's most celebrated work. We are treated to not one, but two guitar solos that burn the house down.

Bodhisattva
From Countdown to Ecstasy
Lead Guitar: Denny Dias and Jeff Baxter

Arguably The Dan's hardest rocking tune (ostensibly about people dabbling in eastern philosophy as if it was a trifle,) opens their second album, allaying any fears that they were just a flash-in-the-pan. From the opening snare-hits to the closing ringing licks courtesy of Jeff Baxter, the record is just relentless. The high point of the song is Denny Dias' guitar solo, putting to rest any doubt that he was anything but an “A” player. There are no words that can adequately convey the depth and breadth of his playing. Crank it up.

Reelin' in the Years
From Can't Buy A Thrill
Lead Guitar: Elliot Randall

Ahh. The birth of a legend. The first Steely Dan song I ever heard was Do It Again, and I loved it immediately. Little did I know that the follow-up single Reelin in the Years was waiting just around the corner. Can anyone argue that Elliot Randall, for that 4 or 5 minutes was the best lead guitarist on the planet? Legend has it that the song was virtually finished, including the transitional guitar vamp by original member Jeff Baxter. Trouble was, neither Skunk nor Denny could come up with a guitar solo that seemed apt to the song. Supposedly Elliot Randall just happened to be in the studio the day that Baxter had just about had it. The frustrated Baxter suggested that Randall take a crack at it. On many occasions the members of the band have claimed that Randall listened to the track once, uncermoniously plugged in his guitar, and blew the room away. What we hear is what he played in one take. Whether that is truth or exaggeration, the lead guitar part on Reelin' in the Years remains as one of the best recorded guitar solos on a rock / pop record. Every time the song comes on, my first reaction is always “Yay – turn it up!”

***

Home At Last – as performed by The New York Rock and
Soul Revue at Jones Beach, Long Island circa 1992.
(originally written by yours truly December 2003)

Ok, they announced the show – Donald Fagen, Boz Scaggs, Michael
McDonald, Phoebe Snow etc. We ran out an bought tickets figuring a
least a couple of Steely Dan songs would get played, and besides,
we'd hear some vintage Scaggs tunes, (we did) and some good music
from McDonald ("Minute By Minute" was a definite high point
of the show.) What we didn't know, was that a few days before
the performance, they announced that Walter Becker was going to be
there. You have to remember that Steely Dan had been dead and buried
since "Gaucho" with (up to this point) little hope of ever
seeing them live.

The night of the show was perfect weather for an outdoor concert. It
was about 75 degrees with a gentle breeze blowing out over the
audience from the bay. The air had that pleasant salty seaside
aroma, not that "fishy" low-tide stench that one might have
to endure on the wrong night. About three-quarters of the way
through the show, (with three or four Steely Dan songs already in the
bag, and the crowd never knowing when the band would play another,
but hopeful at every turn) the lights went down and they put the spot
on Donald behind the grand piano. He began to improvise some of
their famous "mu major" ;^) jazz- chords and the audience was
trans-fixed wondering which Steely Dan classic we were we going to be
treated to – and he got to a stopping point, with a typical trill
on the mice keys – and at that moment you could have heard a
pin-drop! We were all holding our collective breath, teetering on
the edge of our collective excitement. After what seemed like a long
time, but was probably 5 seconds, he played the opening chords to
"Home At Last" and virtually everyone at the theater leaped
to their feet and exploded into a frenzy of cheers, whistles and
applause. It was probably the most electric moment I've ever
experienced at a live show. The song was exquisitely played,
flawless and clean. The fact that we were at the beach, with the sea
just a stone's throw from the theater was not lost on us –
and for those few moments we were on the ship, bobbing to the waves
dreaming about being served the smooth retsina and being kept safe
and warm, but anticipating the impending storm. It was perfection for
6 minutes in time, a time that I will never ever forget.

cross posted over at newcritics.com

Cheney 1994

2007-08-17T19:40:00.000-05:00

I'll Take a Tall, Non-Fat Joni

2007-07-31T12:42:00.001-05:00

Cross-posted over at newcritics.

Hear Music, the record label owned by Starbucks has recently announced that Joni Mitchell will release her newly recorded album “Shine” in September of this year following in the footsteps of Paul McCartney. This has come as a shocking disappointment to some of her fans. Not this one.

Let’s face it. We boomers are no longer the main demographic of the MSM. We thought the 70’s would never end, and for some of us, they haven't. Many friends and acquaintances that came of age in the late 70’s and early 80’s still wallpaper their lives with the likes of Steve Miller, The Eagles and Wings either from their greatest hits CD’s or the ever-popular classic rock radio format. We think that Lenny Kravitz and The Black Crows are new bands. When an artist like Joni Mitchell releases a record, where would anyone beyond her most ardent fans even be alerted to its existence? Most 40-through-60-somethings spend more time at the doctor’s office than at the local record shop, and quite frankly, who can blame them? I recently wandered into an FYE (I was killing some time at the mall while my wife was towel and contact-paper shopping) and couldn’t endure more than five minutes of the nastiness that came oozing like napalm through the aisles. Some gangsta rapper was informing all of us in the store (in case we missed it) to his current condition (he was HORNY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!) ad nauseum. Indeed, had I been able to suffer that particular brand of voluntary torture for a few more minutes, it was doubtful that I would have found anything I’d be interested in anyway.

Where can I go to hear something new that I might actually like? Starbucks seems as good an answer as any I’ve heard in a while. Never mind the corporate greed that imbues every city and suburb here in The United Stores of Generica. Never mind the pretentious suit-clad investor-class wannabes that come in for a triple-non-fat-grande-mocha-sotte-voce-cafe-americano-frappacino in between cell-phone calls to their brokers, masseuses and bored spouses. Never mind the privilege of paying $3.79 + tax for .25 worth of over-roasted coffee, steamed milk and hot water. The fact is, I’m more apt to be there and hear a new Joni song than almost anywhere else I go, and this then, is a good thing.

Ian Hunter's Big Mouth

2007-07-19T06:16:00.000-05:00

Shrunken Heads
Ian Hunter
May 2007

Cross Posted at Newcritics.

If you still believe that George Bush and his buddies are on the right track and you have the entire Journey catalog on your iPod, you’ll hate this record. If, however, for the last 5 years your emotional state has been on a wheel that rolls from outrage to disbelief to despair back to outrage again and your iPod contains the likes of vintage Stones, Dylan and The Kinks, drop everything and order Ian Hunter’s fabulous new release, Shrunken Heads.

I have to be careful here. This record has been front and center in my car and on my mp3 player since I picked it up last month. It has unexpectedly taken me by storm. I say “unexpectedly” because while I’ve always liked Ian Hunter and Mott The Hoople, I’ve never been a huge fan. Again, I say “unexpectedly” because, quite frankly the man is 68 years-old. You just don’t expect to get a rock record this good from anyone who was born in the 30’s.

Well, then, what’s so good about?

First off, there’s the music. I don’t care how eloquent, relevant, ironic and funny the lyrics might be (and here they most certainly are all of the above,) the music has to move me emotionally. The music on this album goes down like a fine lager after a long day at the office. The band is loose like The Stones circa 1971, but also tight like the bands that back John Hiatt and Lyle Lovett. Real instruments played by seasoned musicians with heart. And the songs. Friendly open melodies, classic chord progressions, solid rhythm section and understated piano and guitar.

Then there’s Ian. I don’t think I’ve ever heard better singing come out of this man. Granted, he’s in the studio and they can fix the mistakes, but his delivery and passion can’t be faked. He can bring tears of sadness to your eyes as he laments from When The World Was Round:

'Cause everybody lies 'n' we're stuck in the middle
I think I liked it better when the world was round
There's too much information but not enough to go on
I think I liked it better when the world was round

You think to yourself, “He’s one of us.”

But then in the very next song (Brainwashed) those tears turn to laughter as he crows:

T-shirt with the maker's name,
Can't believe you bought it!
Brainwashed, brainwashed
You're still falling for it.

And again, you think, “He’s one of us.”

I can’t pick a favorite track, as there are so many good ones. The opener, Words (Big Mouth) tells the age-old story (in the first person, of course) of a bloke who’s had a few too many at the pub and then comes home and unloads a barrage of insults and complaints on his long-suffering woman, only to regret it the next morning. You’ve heard it before, but Ian Hunter tells it with just the right amount of sincerity and wit to make you want to listen again and again.

Fuss About Nothing sounds a bit like a John Mellancamp track, and like John Mellancamp the target of the song is a bogus conservative politician who’s just protecting your interests. The similarity ends there though, because instead of singing to the subject, Ian Hunter adopts the persona of the scoundrel and does a brilliant send-up:

You're making a fuss about nothin'
Everything's under control
That bee in your bonnet's got liberal on it
Sit back and relax, watch it all unfold

(and later on)

Now I'm just protecting your interests
I'm just defending your faith
These guys that were caught with their hands in the till
Nothing to do with me, mate, nothing to do with me

In the sad, spot-on title track, he sings about how we’re all victims of the Shrunken Heads. Are they the tiny heads on the TV screen that distract, baffle and lie to us, or the ones on the pieces of paper that line a few peoples’ pockets and are scarce in so many others?

Nothin' matters anymore
The rich get richer, and the poor get sorer
You took our loyalty and you tore it to shreds
We're all at the mercy of shrunken heads

Ian Hunter has served up 11 new songs in all, and there isn’t a loser in the bunch. If you’ve made it this far, just trust me. Go out and buy this record. Now.
A.

Website

Listen.

Juxtaposition

2007-07-17T06:50:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I’m still here.

I spent last week with The Viscountess splitting my time between the beach and the pool in Punta Cana, D.R. drinking pina coladas by day and eating familiar foods prepared and spiced uniquely in the evenings, all served by some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met.

This week I’m teaching a class in Chicago.

Title This Post

2007-07-06T05:51:00.000-05:00

First I wanted to call it The End is Surely Near - then I changed it to This Just in From Hell.

Any ideas?

Paul Anka

Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

Tagged By Jeremy and Lance

2007-07-03T07:20:00.000-05:00

Eight Things About Me

I'm not as well-read as I should be. I'm not up on the classics. Because I was a clever student, I was able to get good grades in literature classes by paying attention to the things the teacher or professor stressed and often skipped actually reading the book. I can't read Shakespeare. These days I mostly read non-fiction and pop-novels by authors like Dean Koontz and Jeffrey Archer and like them.

I have a soft spot for some pretty schmaltzy 70's songs. Close To You by The Carpenters, Everything I Own by Bread, Freida Payne's Band of Gold are just the tip of the iceberg. I like Lady by The Little River Band. On and On by Stephen Bishop. Have You Seen Her by The Chi-lites? Yep.
I wish I could I sing. Of all the things that I can't do, it is the one that I regret the most. I hear the right notes in my head, I hear when other singers are off key even by a hair, and that is the part that is so frustrating. I know exactly how I would sing it – inflection, intonation, emotion – all it. But I can't do it. Oddly enough, I can't whistle on key either. Faulty wiring someplace I guess.
It is getting harder and harder for me to be patient and respectful of religious beliefs of any sort, especially when the believer is intolerant and incredulous over other's equally absurd, unsubstantiated beliefs. This has now extended to belief in alternative medicine. While I accept that chiropractors can offer some relief from back pain, they aren't “Doctors.” They are overpaid masseuses. Chiropractic medicine is based on a theory that disease can be traced to the misalignment of vertebrae. This is patently untrue, and yet chiropractors are widely recognized as medical practitioners. I think that the perpetuation of any myth is ultimately destructive to civilization. You hear people saying things like, “I don't believe in evolution,” or “I don't believe in global warming” as if those things are matters of faith. They are not. Evolution is a fact. Some of its processes are not yet fully understood, but it is not a matter of belief. Global warming is happening. We may not fully understand the causes, but it is a fact. People have trouble discerning fact from fiction because of the perpetuation of myth, especially religious belief. That one probably doesn't count if you have read my blog before. Tough.
I am a very fussy eater. Yellow mustard doesn't count as mustard. It should be renamed and considered a separate condiment. (How about smerconish? " You want mustard or smerconish on that pretzel?") If I ask for a hot dog or a sandwich with mustard and I forget to specify that I want brown mustard and instead I get smerconish, I'm angry. Just one example.
I can ride a unicycle.
I'm sick of the computer field. I would very much like to change careers, but my lifestyle depends on my salary, and I'd have to take a huge pay-cut if I were to change careers.
One of the biggest disappointments of my adult life was when Howard Dean's candidacy was derailed by those idiots in Iowa because some years before he made some disparaging yet spot-on remarks about the caucuses. Don't even bring up “the scream” okay? Dean was the only presidential candidate in my entire life that I ever really believed in without compromise. When he lost I pretty much decided that I'll always be voting against the candidate who can do the most damage rather than for someone who I actually believe can do some good.

I don't have 8 people to tag. I tag Bobby and Kevin, but I'm not sure either of them are up for it.

It Was The Summer of '68

2007-06-19T13:48:00.000-05:00

Ned wants a vintage bike. Blue is tempting him.

Seeing that video and hearing the tune reminded me...

That summer I turned 11. I heard that song for the first time on a beach in Rhode Island. We were on vacation. Hippies everywhere. My parents were as cool as two second-generation Italian depression-era parents could be, which wasn't very cool at all. They certainly didn't approve of the long hair on boys.

We were at the snack bar area. Maybe a boardwalk. I have a vague picture of the scene in my mind, but it was a long time ago now. There was this one couple. Probably 19 or 20 years-old. The guy had cut-off shorts and hair down the middle of his back. (I still want to wear cutoffs today. Real shorts weren't cool, and those balloon bathing suits that were around labeled you as a real idiot back then. I swore off bathing suits and regular shorts at about 12. I had to admit about ten years ago that I looked the fool at 40 in cutoffs, so now I wear those lame docker shorts when it gets hot and a real bathing suit when I go swimming.) The girl was wearing a tiny bikini, and had long, dirty-blond hair. Both were wearing love beads and both had ankle bracelets. My mother said, "look at those two."

But I was already looking. Except that while my parents perceived them as a freak show, I secretly wanted to be them. I wanted to be the guy, and I wanted to, er, have a girlfriend like that. There was no way in hell I was ever going to be allowed to have long hair as a kid. I didn't know that at the time, and in retrospect it was the single, most argued over issue of my teen years. My parents were who they were, and they were great parents - but they got that one wrong. I think that I'm still a little mad about it, even at 50.

In any event, we were on vacation, and I was of an age where a vacation with my parents was still fun. We were at the beach snack-bar, which for me was way better than a restaurant. I could get a hotdog or cheeseburger and some fries, and a coke. (We were not a "coke" family. We had cokes on birthdays and holidays, and when we were out for lunch or dinner, which was a rare treat. I'm glad of that now, and that's how I raised my kids too. That shit is no good for kids, or adults for that matter. I hate it when I see some 7 year-old tearing it up at 9:00 P.M. with his clueless parents saying things like "I don't know what gets into him" in the same breath as "have another coke, Logan." And, apparently, the artificial sweeteners in the diet sodas actually interact with your brain chemistry and make you hungrier.)

I remember there was a radio playing, and "Born to Be Wild" came on. I was stunned. I couldn't make out the words, but I guessed it was about motorcycles. It sounded like a song about riding around on choppers with sissy bars. I LOVED it. Not only did I want to be a hippie at 11, but I wanted to be a biker. I guessed correctly at the name of the song, and decided that I was going to buy the 45 as soon as I could. And I did. I used to crank it up on my little scratch-box record-player with a tone-arm that weighed in at about 3 pounds and get psyched. I'd hop aboard my stingray bicycle and fly over the "motorcycle bumps." We called the spot on driveway entrances from the street where the curb tapered down to ground level forming the break into the driveways "motorcycle bumps," and the slope of some of them could get quite steep. We'd get our bikes up to full speed on the road and then hit those little moguls and pull up on the handle bars and leave the ground. And for that moment, I was a biker, with that song playing in my head.

Born To Be Wild was the song of that summer, and now when I hear it some 40 years later, it still brings me back...

Fountains of Wayne - "Traffic And Weather"

2007-06-12T06:46:00.001-05:00

Cross posted at Newcritics.

I’m going to say right out of the gate that I’m a fan of Fountains of Wayne. Like many others, I was vaguely aware of them for some time, mostly due to the fact that co-founder Adam Schlessinger was the author of the wonderful title track from Tom Hank’s “That Thing You Do.” My interest in them was piqued with the 2003 release of their breakthrough record “Welcome Interstate Managers” which contained the surprise hit “Stacy’s Mom.” Suddenly they were everywhere, showing up on NPR and Austin City Limits. It seemed like everyone was asking me if I’d picked the new “FOW” CD. Contrary to the popular saying, in this case “Writing about music” was certainly not as useless as “Dancing about architecture,” because after reading some reviews of “Interstate Managers” I got the feeling that I would like this band very much, and that feeling was proven correct upon first listen.

“Traffic And Weather” is the long-anticipated follow-up to “WIM.” Sure, there was the hastily compiled “Out of State Plates” which contained a couple of newly recorded songs, but was largely composed of odds n’ ends, leftover tracks and B-sides. My complaint with that collection was that they included some trivial recordings that held little appeal to all but their most ardent fans, but left off the rocking “Too Cool For School (“Scary Movie”) and some must-have remakes, most notably “Better Things” (The Kinks) and “Bus Stop” (The Hollies.) (I should point out for the uninitiated that it does contain their brilliant remake of “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” which is everything a remake ought to be.)

The new album contains few surprises. That is to say, it sounds as if it could be “Disc 2” from “WIM,” had it been a double CD. If you’re a fan, this need not be a bad thing. The album is rife with the catchy guitar-parts, Beatlesque melodies, lush harmonies and tongue-in-cheek lyrics that we’ve come to expect from Fountains of Wayne. These guys are master craftsmen to be sure, and they draw liberally from the power-pop combos of the 60’s and the classic rock bands of the 70’s. One notable difference between this one and their previous effort is that former contained a number a songs that were obvious “tip o’ the hats” to some of their favorites from years gone buy. The aforementioned “Stacy’s Mom” was a letter-perfect homage to The Cars, and “Bright Future In Sales” sounded like The Steve Miller Band with a better lyricist. The songs on “Traffic and Weather” are less obvious tributes to any one band in particular, but contain references to The Beatles in particular, and classic rock bands in general.

Many listeners, and even some professional critics don’t really understand songwriters Adam Schlessinger (bass and backing vocals) and Chris Collingwood’s (rhythm guitar and lead vocals) lyrical perspective. I’ve heard their lyrics described as “mean-spirited” and “sophomoric,” but I think people that hold those opinions are totally missing the mark. I view FOW as a kinder gentler version of Steely Dan. Aside from the obvious differences in musical style, lyrically both songwriting teams focus on mini-character studies, often told in the first person. Walter Becker and Donald Fagen (of Steely Dan) tend to write about society’s underbelly – sexual perverts, criminals, drug addicts and losers - and are openly derisive of them. Donald Fagen presents those lyrics with his patented sneer, laced with sarcasm. Collingwood and Schlessinger on the other hand are more interested in the average Joe. While many of their songs at first listen appear to be sarcastic, after living with them for awhile you start to get the feeling that they are more ironic and sympathetic to the foibles and flaws of their protagonists. They know what is like to lust after the girl at the Motor Vehicle Bureau (“Yolanda Hayes,”) and kid themselves that they impressed her. They dreamed of cruising girls in a muscle car but had to settle for a used Japanese import (“’92 Suburu.”) They’ve suffered the indignity of being cuckolded by guys “wearing light-blue docker pants” (“This Better Be Good.”)

“Traffic and Weather” goes down easy on first listen and gets better over time. Is it going to change anyone’s opinion of Fountains of Wayne? Will it out-sell “Welcome Interstate Managers?” Does it explore new uncharted musical territory for the group? I’d say “no” to all three questions, but if you’re hungry for some well crafted, thoroughly enjoyable slice-of-life pop expertly played and recorded, look no further. The songs on “Traffic And Weather” are perfect for cruising down the highway at 65 M.P.H on a beautiful day, even if (or perhaps especially if) you are driving in a beat-up old Suburu. B+

“Someone to Love.”

2007-06-11T07:32:00.001-05:00

damn

I Am The Jurist

2007-06-04T13:18:00.000-05:00

From The Smoking Gun

JUNE 1--Before his sentencing earlier this year on a felony burglary conviction, Andrew McCormack filled out a form which asked for a "recommendation as to what you think the Court should do in this case." The Montana man, 20, wrote, "Like the Beetles say, 'Let It Be.'"

Click here for the whole story...

For Ned & Blue

2007-06-02T11:56:00.000-05:00

Philip Baker Hall. Ever seen "Hard Eight?"

I came across the above purely by accident. Yesterday I met some friends from my old job (it was a great job and really miss those days) and the subject of Michael Richard's meltdown came up. Apparently, all of them missed this "Lost Episode" of Seinfeld.

Did you?

40 Years Ago Today?

2007-06-01T13:19:00.000-05:00

On the 40th anniversary of Sgt. Peppers...

It's Friday. The end of a long week, with a buncha long weeks in the wings. Maybe YOU had Monday off, but I had to fly to Houston. I've been out of gas recently when it comes to blogging. Tom in a (I guess) Pirsig moment told me to write about one thing.

So, here it is. These are some of the butterflies that batted their wings the right way...

This IS the record that did it. Well, one of 'em anyway.

'Course, legend has it that Paul impressed John with his rendition of this one:

"Before Elvis, there was nothing."

- John Lennon

But wait! Would Paul have been Paul without him?
WOOOOOOOOH!

I'll leave you with this...from 1991,
Paul, in a rare moment of unpretentious cool.

Tuesday Tiger Pig Blogging -UPDATED

2007-05-29T10:40:00.000-05:00

Update: My friend Kevin Wolf was quick to point out while these photos are real photos, the explanation is inaccurate.

Here it the real story.

Thanks Kevin!

Still, the pictures are cute...

***

Feel free to link to your blog featuring piglets being reared by a heart-broken tigress in the comment section.

Click here for the full story.

New McCartney

2007-05-24T19:17:00.000-05:00

Dance Tonight.

(Tune doesn't start until about 1:25 or so...)

What do you think?

Tagged By Bobby

2007-05-24T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm "it."

1. What's in your pocket?
The kick and the snare.

2. Is the pork ready?
Yeah, but I’m not.

3. Have you ever had to rock to and fro to make your poopie go?
I don’t listen to Journey.

4. Do you like onions?
Only when I listen to "The Sound of Pork."

5. So, how big is it?
Depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is.

6. Budweiser or real beer?
Reel Bear.

7. What do you feel about your nose?
The rest of my face.

8. Children: Baked or broiled?
Moiled.

9. Do you like it when I do this?
I’m not sure, but I think I might be ambivalent. Maybe not though.

10. Do you like the sound of chickens?
More than I like the sound of Kansas.

11. Would Beyonce clip her own toenails?
I think she bites them.

12. Do you like pork?
Indeed.

13. If the butter is soft, does the bus arrive on time?
Yes, but if the butter is hard, does the pork arrive on time?

14. When do you get up?
At zero dark thirty.

15. How did you survive childhood?
I'll let you know if I survive it.

16. What do you do before bed?
Get up.

17. What are your hidden charges?
I can't seem to find them.

18. Who's behind you?
Al Fresco.

19. Why don't people go to the bathroom on TV?
Because they are already there.

20. What's a soylent green popsicle?
Jerry Falwell.

21. What does it taste like?

PORK!

22. Why doesn't Consumer Reports rate hookers?
They don’t? I must have confused my issue with Hustler.

23. Does George Bush replace the toilet paper tube?
I think he’s afraid that he might be replaced by a toilet paper tube.

I'll tag Jeremy, but I think he's too cool to play...

Decatur Dem Speaks - Updated!

2007-05-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

My friend, Decautur Dem really should have his own blog. Since he doesn't, I thought I'd share his letter to the editor of The Atlanta Journal Constitution which appeared in Saturday's edition.

Note: His LTA was in response to this.

THE REV. JERRY FALWELL, 1933-2007: Visionary stood as a hero of faith

- Al

To the Editor:

I was taught to avoid speaking disrespectfully of the recently deceased, but in the face of Rev. Benny Tate’s fawning tribute to Jerry Falwell (in the AJC op-ed page), I won’t hold my tongue. Tate holds that Falwell was a “great man”, but where’s the greatness? In the 1960’s he was a segregationist who blasted the Supreme Court’s decision in Brown vs Board, and whose radio show hosted the likes of George Wallace and Lester Maddox. Tate’s “hero of the faith” accused “pagans…abortionists…feminists…gays and lesbians…and the ACLU” of complicity in the September 11 attacks. And this so-called “visionary” seems to have paid a lot of attention to his visions of what goes on behind other people’s bedroom doors. Falwell was a prince? He sounds more like a bigot and a demagogue.

Novocaine For The Soul

2007-05-22T07:01:00.000-05:00

Last night, for whatever reason, my dream chauffeur decided it was time to take a spin back to the bowling alley where I worked in the 70's. I knew I didn't belong there - somehow I let myself in after closing and was hanging out in the back where I used to work. My job title was "pinchaser," which meant I reset the machines when they went off cycle, set up pins for the bowlers if there was some sort of discrepancy, and do whatever else the manager decided needed to be done. Like the the time I had to shovel out 6 feet of years-old urine-soaked beer bottles and cans, pizza-boxes, candy wrappers, condoms, undergarments etc. from the outdoor emergency exit stairwell that had been used as a combination free dumpster and public toilet by the local kids and winos.

It was loud back there - no ear protection or nothing. I was like 2 feet away from Alley # 1, and when bowlers were on 1 & 2 my ears would ring like an A440 sine wave at 80 db's into the next week. Not only that, they had me clean pins by hand using Trichloroethylene in this little machine that splashed the poison all over the place and had a short in it which resulted in periodic electric shocks.

Goddamn Republicans!

It wasn't the 70's anymore - that much I knew. I had my noise-cancellation headphones in tow, but since the lanes were closed no one was bowling.

I clicked on my Zen Sleek Photo, and it played "Novocaine for The Soul" by The Eels in its entirety.

Better that than "Take The Money and Run..."

Novocaine for The Soul
by Edge/Goldenberg

Life is hard
And so am I
You'd better give me something
So I don't die
Novocaine for the soul
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out

Life is white
And I am black
Jesus and his lawyer
Are coming back
Oh my darling
Will you be here
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out

Guess who's living here with the great undead
This paint by numbers life is fucking with my head, once again

Life is good
And I feel great
Cuz mother says I was
A great mistake
Novocaine for the soul
You'd better give me something to fill the hole
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out

Falwell In His Own Worlds

2007-05-18T13:08:00.000-05:00

Mark Morford, from the SFGate.com assembled these quotes:

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"The abortionists have got to bear some burden for [the attacks of Sept. 11] because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.'"

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."

"I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures. They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men -- that's their problem."

"When you have a godly husband, a godly wife, children who respect their parents and who are loved by their parents, who provide for those children their physical and spiritual and material needs, lovingly, you have the ideal unit."

"The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews."

"I am saying pornography hurts anyone who reads it -- garbage in, garbage out."

"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush."

"I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to buy a Suburban next time."

"It is God's planet -- and he's taking care of it. And I don't believe that anything we do will raise or lower the temperature one point."

"I truly cannot imagine men with men, women with women, doing what they were not physically created to do, without abnormal stress and misbehavior."

"It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."

"There's been a concerted effort to steal Christmas."

"I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"

"The First Amendment is not without limits."

"Someone must not be afraid to say, 'moral perversion is wrong.' If we do not act now, homosexuals will 'own' America! If you and I do not speak up now, this homosexual steamroller will literally crush all decent men, women, and children who get in its way ... and our nation will pay a terrible price!"

"If he's going to be the counterfeit of Christ, [the Antichrist] has to be Jewish. The only thing we know is he must be male and Jewish."

"The argument that making contraceptives available to young people would prevent teen pregnancies is ridiculous. That's like offering a cookbook as a cure to people who are trying to lose weight."

"The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability."

"You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes. ... Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on ... every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel." (from Falwell's pamphlet "Nuclear War and the Second Coming of Christ")

"God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve."

"You know when I see somebody burning the flag, I'm a Baptist preacher I'm not a Mennonite, I feel it's my obligation to whip him. In the name of the Lord, of course. I feel it's my obligation to whip him, and if I can't do it then I look up some of my athletes to help me. But, as long as at 72 I can handle most of the jobs I do it myself, and I don't think it's un-spiritual. When I, when I, when I hear somebody talking about our military and ridiculing and saying terrible things about our President, I'm thinking you know just a little bit of that and I believe the Lord would forgive me if I popped him."

"The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etcetera."

"The National Organization for Women (NOW) is the National Order of Witches."

"God doesn't listen to Jews."

"Tinky Winky is gay."

16 Words

2007-05-15T04:26:00.000-05:00

by Margo Guyran

What The Hell Happened!

2007-05-07T14:50:00.000-05:00

This was on Sesame Street in 1973. Can you believe that? That's how cool WE were in the early 70's. Stevie wonder with a kick-ass band turning it out on a show aimed at pre-schoolers.

What the hell happened to music? To black /R&B music? To T.V.? To our country?

How the hell did we end up here?

And then here?

Updated!

Once upon a time there were white guys that could sing and play R&B...

Raise Your Hand If You Are an Idiot

2007-05-04T14:23:00.000-05:00

Last night on the debate between 10 men who still have the balls to call themselves Republicans, Chris Matthews posed the question:

"Is there anyone on this stage...that does not believe in evolution?" *

I hate that. The concept. “Believe in evolution” as if it were a matter of faith. It is not something that is debatable. Evolution is everywhere. It is the way of the universe. Systems evolve. You don’t go from speech directly to notebook computers with GUI, video cards, wireless connectivity and stereo sound. You don’t go from walking directly to the space shuttle. Evolution is a fundamental aspect of existence.

"Is there anyone on this stage...that doesn't believe in gravity? How about fire?"

This week I met someone who disproved one of the old-saw criticisms of evolution – the one where they say no mutation is ever an improvement or offers any advantage. There is this guy whose thumbs were somehow split into two mini-thumbs.

You should have seen him with a blackberry.

(Listening to “Worried Down with The Blues” from “One Way Out” which was recorded at the Beacon Theater. Derek Trucks can almost make me believe HE made a deal with the devil – that man can play the blues! If you don’t know the tune, Warren Haynes sings the hell out of it. He sings: You made me turn my back on my very best friend / and when my back was turned you were messing around with him.” I fucking LOVE the blues when they are done right, and this current version of the Allman Brothers does it right.)

You know how to make a billion dollars?

Invent a copy machine that works as well as microwave oven, or even as well as a Hyundai. Damn things are about as competent as Barney Fife. Or was it Pfeif?

Imagine that – this country might actually elect a president that doesn’t believe in evolution, or claims he doesn’t because he’s afraid he might not be electable.

We also have Mormon running. A Mormon? Ever take a close look at THAT belief system?

Smith was a diviner of buried treasure in his youth, so he was comfortable with using magical devices to see things no one else could see. He kept such a close watch on the golden plates that he was using as a source for his translation that he would allow no one to see them. With his magic stones, Smith could translate the plates even without looking at them.
But after Smith finished 116 pages of the Book of Mormon, one of Smith's financial backers, Martin Harris, borrowed and then lost them! Smith needed some divine assistance and he got some: the missing pages, describing early Israelite-Americans, would not be retranslated, but instead translated anew from a different set of plates, magically provided.

Some days I just have to take a deep breath, look around this place we call America and say, “Fuck me.”

* Brownback, Tancredo and Huckabee raised their hands.

Pirates of the Constitution

2007-05-02T10:57:00.000-05:00

The title of the post just below this one gave me the idea to visit Mad Magazine's web page. I used to love MAD. Don't know if it is any good anymore (gonna have to buy one and see!) but they did let me download the above poster for free, which proves they may or may not be as funny as they once were, but they aren't drinking the Fox Newsade.

Also, I didn't want Wolfowitz's mug being the first image that any friends (or hapless 'net drifters) see when they drop by. Bad form.

What, me Ethical?

2007-05-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Neddie nails it.

With an Armed Guard Marching Ahead.

Here he is, at his best!

Don't forget this week's Top 10!

Four Years Later

2007-04-27T05:52:00.000-05:00

(Click Image to Read)

So what? They're still RIGHT, and we're still WRONG!

Posted over at the Democratic Underground.

Visit Tom Tomorrow.

Also find Tom's cartoons at Working For Change.

Speaking of Keith...

2007-04-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Here he is again, with another spot-on criticism, this time of Rudy:

Thanks to C&L.