Blue Girl vs. The Right Winged Nincompoop

Here I go again, riffing on a comment that Blue Girl in a Red State left here at the Viscount's: [BG's comments are in italics.]

Al, this is off topic [Not anymore!] -- but, I've got a GREAT story for you -- I was at a supplier's office -- people I've been dealing with for years, ultra-right wingers -- guess what one of the guys said? Get ready for this, cuz it's so crazy I can't even stand it.

I thought I was ready, because I certainly know the type. No shortage of ‘em here in the land of “Intelligence Resigned.”

He said

“the reason liberals *love* abortion…”

Stop right there.

I had to read that twice.
“the reason liberals *love* abortion…!”

I have been called “a liberal.” What do I love?

The Viscountess.
Our children.
Music, esp. The Beatles, Steely Dan, XTC, Yes, The Allman Brothers Band, and Kevin Gilbert.
Movies.
My stupid dog.
Books, esp. “The Hobbit,” “The Lord of the Rings,” “The Glass Bead Game,” “Siddhartha,” and Stephen King novels.
Red wine. Italian, French, Californian, Chilean and lately, Spanish.
Eating at restaurants.
Autumn.
Cities, New York, San Francisco, San Diego, and London
Our big, comfy bed.
And lots of other stuff.

Funny, but Abortion doesn’t seem to be on the list.

In fact, I hate abortion. I also hate prostate exams, and I hate saying “no” to my children when they ask for something that they can’t have. I hate getting old. I hate lotsa things that I have to accept as part of life.

The thing that stupid people and conservatives (I hope my editor doesn’t delete that for redundancy!) always seem to miss is that the most difficult choices we face in life are difficult because the options presented to us are all bad! In their black and white world, everything is a simple decision. “Abortion is bad. Don’t have one.” If someone said to me, “Hey Al! Here are your choices: You can either go to Tuscany with The Viscountess and tour the wineries or you can go be mistaken for a member of Al Qaeda and get your ass sent to Gitmo. Which do you prefer?” I am not going to agonize over that one.

If however, the doctor says, “Hey Al! Here are your choices: You can submit yourself to a humiliating, embarrASSing, uncomfortable rectal examination and decrease your risk of dying early, or you can go home and forget about it and increase your risk of having a serious illness go undetected until it is to late to save your life.”

Hmm. I really, really HATE having to bend over and having him poke around inside of me with that damn glove. However, I want to continue to revisit and relive the things on the ‘Things I love’ list for as long as possible. “Ok doc!”

Only an idiot or a conservative republican would infer that I *love* the exam because I choose to submit to it.

Likewise, (as with matters of this complexity, one cannot say “always”) usually a woman who chooses to terminate a pregnancy agonizes over a set of options that are all bad. If a woman decides that she must terminate a pregnancy, it is usually because her alternatives by definition are worse. I say that it is precisely the politics, philosophy and policies of the mean-spirited, the selfish, and the neo-cons that often limit the alternatives of a pregnant woman who feels that she must terminate a pregnancy, and those people are the ones who would take away that choice.

The blathering maladroit continues the sentence: “the reason liberals *love* abortion …is because it's their way of getting rid of black people.”

When did I miss that decision? When did “we” come to a consensus? Liberals want to get rid of “poor people,” but the way we want to do it is to give them more opportunities to escape from poverty. “Poor people” of all colors. Seems to me that it is the greedy selfish people, and the libertarians who want to *increase* the number of poor people of all colors by denying the working class access to education, decent wages and healthcare.

After all of this, this prime example of a person who everyday gives himself a rectal exam with his own head finishes:

“Just go into the black neighborhoods and ask them. That's what black people think.”

Great. He *knows* what *they* think, as if *they* all think the same thing.

How many ways is that wrong, and insulting, and bigoted, and uninformed, and just plain STUPID? Does Condi Rice think the same things as Dave Chapelle? Does Colin Powell think the same things as Snoop Doggy Dogg?” I assume from my experience that both Blue Girl and the self-proclaimed expert on “what black people think" are both white, her name notwithstanding. By virtue of being of similar skin color, does that imply that they both think the same things? Why did he even bother to have this conversation? Or in his world of irrationality, does this axiom only apply to people with dark skin?

Anyway.

Here’s an idea. Let’s go to a “black neighborhood,” get all of the people who live there, put them somewhere, I don’t know where, maybe the Superdome? [Bad joke. Sorry for that one. ] and ask “them” questions. Perhaps “they” will all answer in unison:

“Hey, you black people. I have some questions for you! White people keep quiet!

Do liberals *love* abortion?”

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

“Do they want to get rid of black people?”

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

“Are any of you LIBERALS?”

“UM, HOLD ON A MINUTE…”

BG finished the story with this:

I'm like, WHAT??!! What did you just say??!! How do you know that? When have you ever been in a black neighborhood taking an abortion survey?!! And why do you think liberals *love* abortion??!! That is just plain weird and extreme. (I was ranting and raving -- you would've been proud.)

He and his brother went on and on with the most extreme language you can imagine.

I just kept answering with: I don't care what either of you say -- my entire goal in life [is] to defeat you. You MUST BE STOPPED!!~!!

Indeed. The right-winged nincompoops must be stopped.