Saturday, September 03, 2005

Why Didn't They Just Take A Golf Vacation?

When I started this blog, I wanted to express my views passionately, and eloquently without the use of profanity, keeping the dialogue civil. I am breaking that rule today.

[Note: I am still as angry as I was when I origianlly wrote this, but I feel that the original language of this post was in conflict with the editorial policy of the Viscount's. Here is the editied version.]

I am so stinking sick of the balderdash. Where the heck is the aid to the people in New Orleans? Compassionate Conservatives my buttocks. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice – these people wouldn’t urinate up your anal cavity if your insides were on fire. All they care about is their own wealth. To heck with THEM!

Why the fudge don’t the oil companies donate 1 billion dollars each to get these people help? And what about the churches? Where the unlawful carnal knowledge are the Christians? Where the intercourse is the Catholic Church? The Southern Baptists? I am dang tired of these twisted up hypocrital excretion orifices driving around in their $50,000 cars whining about the price of gas going to their $50 MILLION dollar church here in Woodstock GA telling me I’m going to burn in their fairtytale fruity H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS!


P.S. To "Conservative Christians," "Evangilicals," "Libertarians," "Republicans." This travesity is your fault. This is what you voted for, what you chose. This is the result of the stupid silly poppycock that oozes out of your gaping, spam-fed, pseudo christian pie holes, like "Why should MY MONEY pay for other people's misfortunes?" I hope you're overly happy now that you got what you wanted. I only wish that Jesus WAS coming back so I could see the shocked look of hurt and surprise when he sends your greedy, selfish, hateful souls to the place of eternal torment, while you wait in line inside a replica of the superdome with your insipid christian rock music blaring to the smell of rotting dead bodies and putrid feces to orally satisfy Michael Moore, Bill Clinton, and Ted Kennedy!

[Email me privately if you really want to read the NC-17 version.]


Anonymous blue girl said...

Hi Al, Oh my God!! I was going to do the same thing -- but my HEADLINE was going to be "What the fuck is the matter with this country??!!"

Great, great rant.

Want some more: go to:

11:21 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

I suspect "Johnny M. Hunt" would be all too happy to piss up your ass.

He'd probably give you a reacharound too.

11:38 AM  
Blogger TheProfessionalStudent said...

I totally agree with you. I wrote something along the same lines on my blog I guess the guys in charge were too busy with their golf games to actually prepare for disaster and do their jobs. This is what happens when Republicans are put in charge. It is ridiculous. Those people who are stranded...if they ever get rescued...should sue the federal government, well, if that was possible. Maybe they could just start with a lawsuit against George W. Bush and the director of FEMA. Of course, since most of them are poor black people they'd need someone to offer their services without charge. Maybe the ACLU? I only wish.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Where the intercourse indeed.

3:44 PM  
Anonymous blue girl said...

Ok Al. You are too funny.

I must re-write my comment above now.

"What the H-E-double toothpicks is the matter with this country??!!"

(I like hockey sticks, too -- but I've always said toothpicks!)

7:06 PM  
Blogger M.T. Vanus said...

Where are they? They are on their knees. They are giving great testimony to the power brokers standing before them. They are celebrating. They are worshiping God. They are delighted that God has seen fit to show off a little Old Testament thunder and lightening. They are thrilled that God took aim in a sinful city. They are rapturous over the idea that they have been spared. They are getting their brains scrubbed with a healthy dose of Christianity, by God—Karl Rove style.

Where are they? They are bending over, letting the children of the world suffer the consequences of war, famine, and disease. They are stepping all over their bibles, standing tall, saying “It’s okay. It's God's will. I have mine. What should I care? Why should I help my brother. For isn't it written, I am not my brother's keeper?”

Where are they? They are voting for skull-penetrating pirates who have devalued the middle class, destroyed the good will of the country, and have promoted an environment not unlike Nazi Germany pre-1930. They are feasting on someone else’s misfortune. That is the way of the Righteous. Damn critical thinking, science, morality, ethics. If the priests can take aim at defenseless children, it must be God sanctioned. Why not the world?

Where are they? They’ve got a front row seat in the blind theatre of the faithful. And they will be the first to scream when the dark veil of subterfuge is lifted and the goose-stepping troops take center stage. They’ll laugh and cheer. They’ll applaud. They’ll fall in line and do the Christian Dance.

And when it’s too late, they will blame us.

8:20 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

MT - Good answer.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous blue girl said...

MTV: Wow.

7:17 PM  

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