The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead

Election day. Nothing going on in my district until ’06.

This is a cliché, I know, but I’ve really grown tired of the hacks that are constantly presented to us as candidates. I want someone I can believe in, someone I can defend, someone that I can look up to, someone with the gumption to stand up against the corruption and the lies and to lead this nation into a future of prosperity and goodwill toward the other nations of the world.

I’ve written about Howard Dean before. The Viscountess and I were so hopeful back in ’02 when we became aware of his candidacy. In ’03 we took the day off from work and went to Earthlink Live in Atlanta and cheered his official announcement speech. On July 4th we marched in a local parade with the other early Dean supporters. We read his speeches and watched the debates. We contributed money, something that neither of us ever thought we would do. We watched the other Democratic candidates sputter and feign outrage at his candid statements that refreshingly spoke the truth to those of us who were so tired of the specious rhetoric that comes out of politicians’ mouths. We came to the realization that the idiots in charge of the democratic party would rather lose than have Dean on the ballot. And, we watched the fools in Iowa turn against him because they were insulted at his comments about the absurdity of the Iowa caucuses, proving his point.

We didn’t watch the endless looping of his infamous scream.

(From the above link:)

Dean's "I have a scream" speech was seen as a major turning point, and certainly contributed to his losing the Democratic nomination. Television across the country aired video of his appearance before a rally of his supporters, where he shouted loudly and eventually let loose with a shrieking yowl that was widely derided as not seeming "presidential." What most of the media failed to mention or notice was that Dean had used a specific type of noise-canceling microphone, specifically designed to hear only the user's voice and filter out the roar of a raucous crowd. Other recordings of the same event showed that people in the room could barely hear Dean at all, as he hollered to be heard over the cheering audience at his pep rally.

And so it was over. His viability as a national candidate shattered. He made too many enemies. We finally got someone who had the temerity to tell the truth, and tired old hacks from his own party like Kerry, Gephardt and Liebermann couldn’t stand it. I was sickened when I found myself having to defend and vote for the likes of John Kerry - a candidate so inept that he was unable to defend his own legitimate, decorated war- record against a the non-record of a drunken, spoiled fratboy who used family connections to avoid the draft and then didn't bother to even show up for his last year in the guard.

I am optimistic that things will get better. They have to. BushCo just keeps digging the hole deeper and deeper, and even another terrorist attack won’t save them. That said, I doubt that I will like anyone they run as much as I liked Dean, and I can’t help but be a bit angry about the way he was treated by his own party.

***

The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead
by Andy Partridge

Peter Pumpkinhead came to town
Spreading wisdom and cash around
Fed the starving and housed the poor
Showed the vatican what gold's for
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for Peter Pumpkin
Who'll pray for Peter Pumpkinhead?
Oh my!

Peter Pumpkinhead pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
Peter Pumpkinhead told the truth
But he made too many enemies...
Peter Pumpkinhead put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
Peter merely said
Any kind of love is alright

But he made too many enemies...
Peter Pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live TV
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!
But he made too many enemies...
Hooray for Peter Pumpkin
Who'll pray for Peter Pumpkin
Hooray for Peter Pumpkinhead
Oh my oh my oh!
Doesn't it make you want to cry oh?

© 1992 Virgin Music (Publishers) Ltd.
From "Nonsuch." - Snippet of this most excellent song can be heard here.

Thanks to Dr. Jeffrey Wall, M.D. for his kind permission to reproduce the copyrighted image above.